what i have become

less than what i once was
in many respects
and also more
and for every time
by myself
that i was connected
by others
i have been cut loose
and this sin
as viewed by another
a crime i committed
with no malice
will be my warrant
but i never meant it to be so
there is more than words
if only you understood

this one is rather dusty...

i wrote this a long time ago
and it does seem rather sophomoric now
but i'm posting it anyway
because i still love the last sentence



i got caught on a branch
as i was drifting along
and you came to see
so i tied myself to you
for a while
understanding what it meant
feeling what it was like
to be still
and then you went
so i cut myself loose
and i drifted on
its different though
to know what the feeling is like
i liked being still
growing restless at times
and your devastatingly soft hand on my face
that look in your eyes
i think about it
as i hoist the sails of another morning

mr milller, your title, please.....?

a few times
i stole a glance
at you
stealing a glance
at me
and it looked
as if maybe
you thought
i was happier than you
and i would love
to have the opportunity
to tell you
that it isn't so.

a title ? you want a title ?!

i'm not so good with the whole title thing...



please tell me
when you are done
when you've had enough
of me
of this perpetual mangling
of my core
i dont want to think any more
about finally being over
only to be thrust again
into this hell
i will sit quietly
.
my last request
is only that you tell me
when enough
for you
is truly enough

sumpthin'

and though i never had the conversation
i had already envisioned
how it would end
a thousand roads
leading up to the words
"i understand,
you are free."

i can post this

noone will know...


the light
so bright
so painful
only when
staring
everything
gets hazy
and white
only then
i see
you
though not clearly
again
and i'm never sure
if it's me
or if it's you

a little smackerel of something

a far away look
into the future
or the past
and if it doesn’t matter
which one
then we have reached
the vanishing point

simple

the butt of our first cigarette together
the frayed map of the city
the business card of the café
a bracelet I never wore
letters
from everyone back home
asking me what the hell I was doing there
and when was I going to come home
my box
of belief
the only thing I keep
to tell me that it isn’t a dream
wasn’t a dream

just some writing

slight
and not here
always there
anywhere
but here
begininning
almost at the end
trying to take a place
that could never be taken
not with clothing
not with song

too far

too far to be angry
too far to care
too far to be disgusted
only tired
scratchy voice
when the sun is fading
agreeable
toothless
resigned
this is not the way i remember
you
you with fire
you with anger
you with spite
you with clear eyes
you with conviction
you with strength
you with no quarter asked
you with a future
you with hope
you with arrogance
you with youth

but that could never be...

yeah it's a good song
the lyrics are better than the melody
so says i
one mustn't neccesarily agree with me
but if you do get turned off by the music, at least read the lyrics
ok
'nuff preaching, right ?
onward!

beautiful by joydrop

If i was beautiful like you
all the things I would do
Those not so blessed
would be crying out murder
And I'd just laugh
And get away with it too
Like you do

If i was beautiful like you
I would never be at fault
I would walk in the rain
between the raindrops
Bringing traffic to a halt

But that can never be
that will never, never be
Cause i'm not beautiful like you
I'm beautiful like me

If i was beautiful like you
I'd be quick to assume
They'd do anything to please me
At night I see their reaction
when you walk into the room

But that can never be
that will never, never be
Cause i'm not beautiful like you
I'm beautiful like me

Beautiful
beautiful like me
like me
like me

If i was beautiful like you
I'd have so many friends
Always fighting for my time
to be next in line
So if i hurt one
i wouldnt have to make amends

That can never be
that will never never be
Cause i'm not beautiful like you
i'm not beautiful like you
i'm not beautiful like you
I'm beautiful like me

beautiful like me
beautiful like me
I'm beautiful like me
I'm beautiful like me

weakly reader

vodkamom wrote something about weekly readers
so yeah.
we used to get 'em.
but i'll be perfectly candid, i never read them.
good books, i'm sure.
never read 'em.
why, you ask ?
because i actually COULDN'T READ that well.
and i thought it said weakly reader .
now, i was young when i started reading (they thought i was gifted back in the day), so when i saw the weekly reader i said "i'll be damned if i'm gonna read one of those".
y'all aint callin' this hea reader a weakly reader.
aint nuthin' weak about my readin'.
pshaw.

so i missed out on a lot of good books.
oh well.
i've spent the better part of my adulthood catching up.
may explain a thing or two...

did i ask too much

more than a lot
you gave me nothing,
now it's all i've got.

one - U2

not the classic version, but i like it anyway.
change of pace.
sue me.
i've got a lawyer.
no i dont.

so anyway...